North Jetty Swells (32’)

Nearly seven years had passed since I last wrestled God by throwing my amateur self onto a hastily-bought surfboard and into the churn of the NorCal ocean, daring Him to finish me off. I was back again, screaming in His face.

It was the middle of the winter, and I had gone to the North Jetty to witness the 32’ waves that were punishing the coast. The upper dunes were blanketed with spectators cheering on the liquid trains of thunder that barreled in with their indifferent appetite for snatching life. Like a desperate person spotting a bridge without a safety net, I went home to gather some supplies and returned to the water’s edge for a re-match with my maker.

In the valley between the drifts and breakwater exists a fertile swath of sand that, during these king tides, divides its time between being hospitable and deadly. It was there that I decided to pitch my tents and wait for God.

For the next three hours, with my back to the ocean, I defiantly went about my business. I cobbled shelter out of painted parachutes, erected a fake campfire to both boil my water and keep away nighttime predators and then hung my kelp to dry. I ceremoniously fortified the perimeter with the slender tracings of my zen-like rake, all while contemplating the story of the Three Little Pigs. Motorcycles could be heard chewing hills in the distance, while annoying children disregarded my boundary. The tide was rising and, with the waves stacked high upon its shoulders, kept forcing me back out to defend my property line against its salty gentrification.

In my final act of insubordination, I lit it all on fire, recording it on my camera like some trophy that I would later add to the sad photo album of all the places I no longer lived, or rather survived.

The edge of danger is a place I must sometimes go, with swinging fists, to appeal God’s decisions. As before, when together on my board we stitched the waves to the shore with the sinew of our grizzled brawl, he told me his verdict still stood and then showed me yet another way to endure.